LoveTactics: How to Win the One You Want

Synopsis:

Thomas W. McKnight, a specialist lecturer on romantic love and renowned author and psychologist Robert H. Phillips invite you on a journey to learn the tactics necessary to winning your marriage partner. Both McKnight and Phillips provide 69 (what a coincidence!) proven strategies to enable you to complete your love quest. The guide has been a constant bestseller in the USA for the past two decades making it any singletons necessary next purchase. Starting to sound perfect? Pick up a copy and find out for yourself!

Reviewers comments:

The front cover: a single, dying rose accompanied by a big, bright red background; looks a bit like the bloody mess you will be in if you follow these tactics. The top right hand corner reads '300,000 copies in print'. I would love to meet the 300,000 people who bought this book and ask them for proof of their sanity. Not too good so far, let me explain why.

To me, '69 tactics' sounds like ample advice for helping you find a romantic partner. However if those 69 tactics completely contradicted themselves and were followed by endless paragraphs altering the definition of 'love' to support each tactic then they aren't that helpful. Some suggestions rightly emphasize being patient and caring to the one you love whilst others mimic the 'treat them mean keep them keen' theory. For example: the guide includes tactics to make your loved one feel doubtful and insecure by breaking dates and making them jealous.

In addition, the guide claims you can't fall in love with someone unless they are afraid of you! It says you should be aggressive towards the person of your dreams and if you are unfortunate enough to have a kiss rejected then you should wait until the end of the date and attempt to relight the flame and kiss them again. Surely anyone with sense would realise that if they didn't want to kiss you at the beginning of the date then they are very unlikely to change their minds within a few hours! Also, the guide stresses the need to dominate the one you desire in order to declare your independence and superior position in the relationship as 'passion thrives on insecurity'. Rubbish! Being nasty and playing the old school hard-to-get tactics will get you the boot to loserville and a broken heart.

Throughout the guide, McKnight and Phillips consistently reassure their readers that their tactics are based on proven techniques. Sounds awesome! Finally two intellectuals that have done their research and want to share it with single Americans! I wish. Throughout the guide McKnight and Phillips state that many people agree with the tactics but fail to quote whom. Reliable? I think not. Also, at no point in the first section of the guide do McKnight or Phillips quote any research or support their tactics with statistics. In the second section of the guide McKnight and Phillips eventually refer to statistics, however this research wasn't even carried out by them and they fail to claim where the information derived from! Despite both authors having a rich, extensive background of love and psychology, they have merely used their own personal experiences and teachings of the Bible in the formation of what can only be viewed as complete and utter contradictory nonsense.

The guide regularly quotes famous individuals such as Shakespeare, Thomas Hardy and various Presidents and artists such as Whitney Houston. As enjoyable as it is to reminisce legendary songs or the work of famous poets, what does it have to do with a guide on love tactics? Absolutely nothing (say it again!) Attempting to relate Eisenhower to placing a ring on the finger or the guy/girl of your dreams and then charging £10.99 is quite frankly absurd.

The guide is rightly divided into two sections. The first is dedicated to charming that special someone whilst the second is focused on winning that person back once you have lost them. Why would a book dedicated to finding a suitable marriage partner need an additional section on winning back the one you love? Oh that's right, because the tactics teaching you how to find a marriage partner are very likely to hammer out any chances you have with the person you love, thus you will need all the help you can get to win that person back! If I have to credit this book, the second section is a worthy read. It is much more realistic and gives a positive outlook of how to cope if you are unable to win back the one you want.

Who should read it?

 I'm sure any modern day "player" would agree with these nasty, game playing tactics and I would therefore recommend this dated guide to any black hearted idiot who still believes that they will get lucky by depressing and annoying the one they're after.