Be Honest - You're Not That Into Him Either.

Synopsis:

Feminist Doctor (yes it sounds like he might know what he's talking about!) Ian Kerner writes with your best interests at heart in his relationship guide, Be Honest - You're Not That Into Him Either. Kerner is a relationship know-it-all! Not only is he a successful sex therapist but he also regularly appears on Today as well as some of your favourite American radio stations and magazines such as Cosmo and Men's Health. His guide to relationship success aims to boost your confidence and make you realise that you are far too good for that guy who stood you up twice or the other idiot who kissed another girl in front of you or the guy who claimed he loved you and then said he had a girlfriend. Out with 'Mr Meantime' and in with Mr Right. Kerner's guide is like no other as he aims to give you a set of choices to better your relationship success as opposed to your average Joe, step by step, idiots guide to dating.

Reviewers comments:

Not only does Kerner embark on a new take of the traditional relationship guide but the front cover of his book isn’t exactly what you’d imagine to see on the front cover of a dating book aimed at women. Despite it displaying every variety of pink in the colour spectrum; this cover looks more like the front of a lads mag! A very pretty, blonde, slim, tanned woman pictured on the front of a dating book aimed at straight woman is hardly going to grab the attention of Kerner’s intended market.

This is clearly a guide like no other. Kerner aims to give women a sense of pride and encourage them to step back and really consider what they truly want in their lives, whether that means staying single, having a few casual flings or avoiding every Nick, John and Harry until Mr Right is in sight. Throughout the book Kerner encourages women to believe that even though the man they were dating has recently run off with your sister or bluntly ended your relationship at the third measly date, you in fact weren’t into him either! However, in my opinion Kerner’s ability to instil this confidence in women, who cry over their broken heart despite breaking up years ago, is extremely unrealistic. Girls have spent years telling their best friend that their ex wasn’t good enough and I think we are more likely to trust our BFF’s than a random guy with a Ph.D. Attempting to persuade women that they wasted several years fretting over a worthless guy is going to take a lot more than 164 pages! I suggest a few boxes of Kleenex would be money better spent!

Despite these criticisms, Kerner’s knowledge is evident. He lays out the statistical evidence from various worthy sources and backs up each section of data with clear explanation. This aspect of the book is faultless. However if you were expecting a giggle worthy guide like the majority of popular dating books then you were very wrong. Despite Kerner being extremely friendly and informative throughout he fails to tickle my funny bone. Thus sometimes the content can become tedious and dry, missing the ‘can’t put me down’ grab that other guides contain.

However, Kerner’s structure of the book is commendable. The guide is divided into three sections marking different phases in the dating scale. Each section is dedicated to making women believe that they weren’t interested in the man they are/were dating. As well as this, Kerner aims to show women that they have various choices in life that shouldn’t be dictated by society’s expectations. Thus preventing women from stringing along Mr X, Y and Z, she will be able to see who is worthy of her affection.

At the end of each section, Kerner includes a series of multiple choice questions aimed at getting women to think about what is really right for them. However, the phrase, ‘saving the best till last’ doesn’t really come to mind. The multiple-choice section includes questions asking women what they would do in a given scenario and then provides a small box to write an answer for their reason why. I can’t imagine anything more patronising in a dating book. It felt like I was in primary school and I probably would have more enjoyment if I had dug out my colouring book! And to top it all off, after all the palaver of squeezing my answer into the tiny box labelled, ‘please work in this box’ Kerner claims that all answers were correct! What a pointless exercise!

Who should read it?

Despite the evident downfalls in this book, it is extremely well studied and written by a very knowledgeable man. However, I think any best friend would tell you exactly the same things (minus the bit when Kerner talk about all the biological reasons for a male erection) as Kerner explains throughout the book. But any woman who is in need of extra confidence giving then this is the book for you. Kerner has the ability to make any woman feel better than any boyfriend.